An Uncomplicated Life Blog: The Nightmare That Is Dating and Texting

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

The Nightmare That Is Dating and Texting

In the spirit of Valentine's Day week, I thought I'd devote a post about love. Or, errr... Just dating.

Clearly, I'm married and no longer have to worry about these things (holluh!) but I have many single friends, and one of my girlfriends and I had a great discussion. On dating and texting. And what a nightmare it is.

She told me that she was really interested in this guy. That they hit it off emailing after meeting on an online dating site. And that they had exchanged numbers and were now texting regularly.

"So, he just asked me out about an hour ago, and we're going to meet for the first time!" She said to me. "Awesome! So he finally got the gumption to call you and ask you out?!" I replied. "Oh, ummm... No. He texted me to ask me out." To which I told her she should text him back and ask him to marry her. And be completely serious about it.



I mean, really? Are you kidding me?!

Guys. Guys guys guys. I fully support dating sites (I belonged to match.com in my mid-20's) and I'm a big texter (just ask Making Mrs M or Meet at the Barre). But if anyone had text me in my single days and asked me on a date, they'd have gotten a big fat N to the O.

Here's what: We can meet online and flirt and text. But I'm not going to meet you before actually talking to you. Don't hide behind a screen, gentlemen! When you want to take a woman out, give her a call. Ask her out. And find out if she's more comfortable meeting you there or having you pick her up, and happily oblige to what she's most comfortable doing.

Call me old fashioned. Call me crazy. But look who's happily married...

For the record, I've never gone on a date with someone who didn't call to set it. There was ALWAYS a phone call. Always. Asking someone out is a personal thing, that deserves a phone call or in-person conversation. Gentlemen, pick up the phone. No, not to shoot her a text. Call her like a man. And ladies, set your standards and stick to them. Don't accept a text just because he's "really cute and funny!"

Because next thing you know, he will ask you to marry him via text.

Do you want this to be your future? Never accept a date via text. Never.

18 comments:

  1. My husband and I have been together since we were teenagers so I have NO context for what online dating/modern dating is like, but I'm with you. No way would I go out with someone who could only bother to send me a text. I have a feeling I would have been terrible at online dating.

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    1. Online dating wasn't so horrific... You just have a lot of emails to sift through and profiles of the guys who talk to you to check through! It was super time consuming. But a nice way to "meet" people when life is busy!

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  2. I could not agree with this more! It just blows my mind that dating has become so impersonal. I've been married for four years, and in the same relationship since 2007, so I haven't been part of the dating situation for awhile, but the idea of planning dates via text is kind of horrifying to me. I've also known multiple people who said "I love you" for the first time via text…it's pretty much one step away from that last picture!

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    1. NO! Who drops the L-bomb via text?! That's absurd! I can't stand "text language" - Like I wrote in the last pic. Spell out "you" and "and" has an A and a D in it, ok? When I was still working, I got a cover letter from an applicant who used "text language" in her cover letter, and we posted it in the break room for everyone to laugh at.

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  3. Yeah girl. You're so right.

    LOL at that screen shot. Seriously. I'd get with that in a heart beat.

    It blows my mind that people are afraid to communicate these days. Technology has made it so easy to forget that there's an actual PERSON on the other end of the phone. And I also think people hind behind their phones because they're afraid of getting hurt. Getting dissed via text is SO much easier than getting dissed via phone call/in person. Man & woman up! ;)

    Also... Love that we are on the same wavelength.

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    1. I sent that text to hubs so I could screen shot it for the blog, and prefaced it with a "hey, I'm going to send you a text that I need a pic of. Don't be scared"!!!

      Love our posts today! You know why something is traditional? Because it's the best, longstanding way to do something and do it right.

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  4. It's really astonishing that this is becoming the "norm"... why?! and WHEN?? I'm with you. It needs to be put to an end because I know for a fact my daughter will be raised to have a better set of standards when she gets into the dating world. (YEAAARRRSSS from now!) lol.

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    1. I don't know when this became the norm, because even circa 2011 I was getting a phone call to be asked out. Some losers sent texts, and they got blocked immediately. Good for you for promoting high standards! My son will be raised to meet them :)

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  5. I seriously could not agree more!! I think that it's fine to text but if you're going to ask me out - you do it on the phone or in person...at least that's how it was when we were dating!! Totally fine to confirm a time via text tho!! xo, Biana - BlovedBoston

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    1. Absolutely! I hear from my single friends that guys are no asking for dates via text and that just bums me out. Confirmations, totally ok - I agree!

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  6. Oh Lord I couldn't agree more with this post! I mean, I text more than I talk (except to my hubby and parents...b/c they don't text) but come on! I love technology but I hate it at the same time. So afraid for our kids and what the future holds with technology.

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    1. Girl, my voicemail actually says to text me, not to leave a message because I won't listen to it! I'm a texter too. But dang. If you're trying to date me, have some respect and man up!

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  7. I have never really been invited on a 'date' because I think it's a bit different at home.. but if I were to date.. yeah texting would be a no go. if we can't have a phone conversation - and being on the phone is awkward enough - it's not gonna work on a date.

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    1. Haha, that's a great point! If you can't talk to me on the phone, how the heck are we going to fill the night with conversation?! Love it.

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  8. I 100% agree girl! If a guy asks you out by text I would ignore it until they call you.....they eventually get the hint right? ;-)

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  9. LOL! This is so true, I have been married for a few years now and with my husband for over 5 years so I think this may have become a problem recently? I've never gone on a date without someone at least calling me and asking me out.

    I can't imagine being asked out over a text message but unfortunately todays youth probably could care less... oh dear, times have changed, haven't they?

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  10. I wonder if back in the day people thought asking someone out by phone was rude. Honestly, texting and phone asking are both a bit rude! But necessary for long distance. :-)

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  11. This is awesome! I just realized that my husband asked me out for the first time via e-mail way back in 2006. :) Our first phone call was after our date. Oops.

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