Yes, you read that right. Have I made my non-mom readers mad? Let me explain.
Going out with a baby is hard. It used to take me 20 minutes to leave the house. Now I need at least an hour, more like two if I'm going to go anywhere for any length of time. So those last minute texts to meet up from out non-mom friends? They aren't happening. In fact, we feel guilty about saying no and sometimes even frustrated/angry that you, dear non-mom friend, think we could pull that kind of feat off. Also? We really, really want to be there. Those last minute "let's hang out!" texts are a brutal reminder of a life we wont have again for 15 or so more years.
Let's say you do give us proper warning for a hang out. We're so excited to see you! But dangit, our baby is teething and consistently interrupts our conversation. You don't know if you should stop talking or speak over the screams. It's awkward. We moms are only listening to you with one ear. The rest of our concentration is going to getting this infant to stop making ALL THE NOISE and the rest? Well, we're scanning the restaurant to see how many people we're pissing off, and at what point we need to bail to keep from getting food thrown at us.
|When *this face* appears, your quiet baby time is limited. Or, just over.|
When we go out with other moms, it's like magic. Other mom's know when baby reaches *that octave* and she should stop talking. She usually pitches in at the first sign of baby-distress with a toy from her diaper bag or even a piece of her sandwich to keep the baby happy. If the fussing is so bad that we have to leave, she gets it. It's nothing personal, she's not overly disappointed, we just reschedule for a better day.
It comes down to this: our fellow mom friends spring into action. They're "do-ers" and damn, that's so helpful! Our non-mom friends ask questions. "Do you want some help?" We can tell that you don't really want to, or don't know how to, or are just trying to be nice, or maybe all three of those. But our mom friends? They know we need help, they know how to help us and they'll do it no matter what the task. Baby blew out her diaper? Our mom friends already have the wipes out and grab the dirty clothes (yes, they grab the poopy clothes) to be put in a plastic bag for later cleaning.
I mean, hey. It takes a village.
Non-mom friends, we moms do indeed love you. Love you. One day, when all of this passes, we'll be able to go out with you again. We can talk about fashion and we'll actually be able to contribute to the conversation. One day. But for now, we need our mom-friends on all sides of us to push us through the work of raising young children.