An Uncomplicated Life Blog: Total Lies Told To Me About Parenting

Monday, October 16, 2017

Total Lies Told To Me About Parenting

Every parent thinks they know best. These are the best lies I was told from other parents about parenting!


Just like every soon to be parent, I thought I knew exactly how things would go when my child was born. I thought I'd breastfeed for at least a year (hahahahaha) and I thought we'd co-sleep (aaaaahahahahaha hell no) and I thought a whole lot of things. In addition, I had people tell me a whole lot of things about my thoughts on parenting. These people could see my ignorance, and they also wanted to take out their own short comings on me. These, my friends, are the biggest "I told you so" parenting lies I was told!

Common myths and lies told to new parents about parenthood, babies, toddlers and children


"You'll end up letting your kids eat in the car."
I was adamant about never letting my kids eat in the car. Have you ever seen a car where the parents allow the kids to eat in the car seats?! It's a wreck. The car stinks. There's literally crap and food particles everywhere! I told all my friends and family that I'd never let my kids eat in the car, and they laughed at me. "Oh, just you wait!" they said with creepy glee, as if they were waiting for me to fail. Well wait on, jerkholes, because my kids still aren't allowed to have anything other than water in the car! Yup, I've made it 3 and a half years and there's no snacking in my car. See, I like nice cars. I drive a nice car. I like my nice car to actually be NICE. As in, clean, maintained, conditioned leather, washed, etc. And it is. What's the point of driving a luxury car if you treat it like crap?! Two kids later, and my car is still immaculate. We have snacks before we go places and I've actually taken food out of their hands and tossed it in the trash. My three year old will toss his own snacks because he knows there's no eating in the car! (I also don't eat in my car, ever, because you can't tell your kids not to do it then do it yourself.) So... That was a lie.

"You'll end up feeding your kids fast food."
Y'all know I don't do fast food. And by do, I mean eat it. I don't see a reason for it, honestly: Why can't you wait to get home to eat? Why can't you pack healthy snacks if you're going to be out and about for a while? Why don't you get healthy food at a sit down restaurant? This also plays into never eating in my car - we just don't eat and run or eat on the go. Ever. But when I told my friends and family that, they laughed. They said, "Oh just wait! You'll have a hungry kid and stop through a drive through!" Well, think again guys. Maybe I care too much what goes into my and my children's bodies, but I don't go to the drive thru. Like, ever. No eating in the car, and no fast food.

"You'll get your baby on a schedule, then have to break it because you want a life."
Now what is true is that I want a life... But what is not true is schedule breaking! Otto is the only napper left, so we do things in the morning before nap or in the afternoon after it. If we go out to eat, we go at 5pm so that we're home in time for a 7pm bedtime. We do NOT miss a nap and we don't do late bedtimes, ever! My kids (and me) are really into routines and while our daily activities change regularly, the structure of the schedule never does. When we do date nights we leave after 7pm (and are home well before 10pm, haha!) and if we go to a birthday party or some kind of daytime social event, it fits in with nap. Period. Why so crazy about the schedule? My kids walk themselves to bed at night and fall to sleep without issue. All I do to get Otto to nap is lay him in his crib and walk out. These kids know exactly when to sleep, thankyoubabyjesus.

"iPads will be your best friend when you have a toddler!"
NOPE. No. I've been against screen time since the beginning. My kids KNOW/were trained not to even touch my phone. In fact, Henry asks if he can carry it and put it in my purse and acts like it's a special treat when I say yes. We don't have the TV on until the 5:30 news and the boys get 20-30 minutes of a movie to watch as they drink a sippy of milk before bed. That's literally the extent of their screen time during the week. On weekends, Henry can play iPad games for an hour while Otto naps, and many times he plays with it for a half hour, then asks to go outside or simply puts it down to play with his real toys instead. I've been against over-stimulating musical/flashing light/noise making toys since day one. Personally I think it negatively impacts their social development, over stimulates them, and is bad for eye and brain health. So, ugh, yeah. I don't rely on screens, and that was a big ol' lie.

Why are these grown ups telling you all this rubbish, mommy?

Here's the thing about parenting: We all have our priorities. Some people will tell you total lies about YOUR parenting because you have different priorities. Clean car not your thing? Then you'll let your kids eat in it and it won't bother you. Healthy food not a major concern? Then you'll hit up the drive thru. Don't need good, consistent sleepers (and sleep yourself)? Then you'll throw off the schedule to attend that party or stay out late for a good supper. See what I mean? I'm sure I've told some mega lies about parenting to my own friends, because we prioritize differently.

5 comments:

  1. You hit the nail on the head with the last paragraph. It's all about priorities, and that applies to other things outside of parenting also!

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  2. People have a lot to say about parenting, and I think s part of it is that they succumbed to these things they said they’d never do so they want everyone to do the same. Way to go!!!

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  3. Everyone has an opinion about parenting, and that's never going to change. And you're so right about priorities. We put our kids down to bed early. We have friends who don't put their kids down until later b/c of how they live. It's whatever works for you. To each their own.

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  4. Girl, we have had the worst time with Jack sleeping. I WISH he would walk himself into his bedroom to go to sleep. It is more like 45 minutes of screaming in his bed. It is awful. Brooke sleeps like a dream and so does Bowe. I don't know what to do. And when we get a new car, we are definitely instituting the no food in the car rule. We try to avoid it most of the time but we do it on long trips or when they are about to fall asleep!

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