Fulfilling A Childhood Dream

Have you met all your goals and dreams you had as a child, or has your life turned out completely different than planned?

As 2016 draws to a close, I find it fun to do a little reflecting. Not just on business and personal goals for the year, although those are important, but this year I'm thinking a little bit deeper: Have I fulfilled some, any or all of my childhood dreams? I use the word dream instead of goal because as a child, you don't know what a realistic goal is, you just wildly dream and follow your interests. It's fun to look back and remember what I wanted to do and where I thought I'd be when I was a girl and compare that to where I am now. Let's see if I fulfilled any childhood dreams, and I'm interested to learn if you have, either!

The photos in this post are photos of photos, because digital wasn't a thing back in the 80's and 90's.

Baby Paige and toddler sister!

Professionally, I wanted to be a singer or a model when I was in grade school. Did I fulfill that childhood dream? Well, the thing is, I can't sing. AT. ALL. So that absolutely didn't happen. Like, I don't even sing along to the radio in the car because I'm so bad, I'll ruin it for myself! I didn't really think about that in grade school, I just really wanted to be Mariah Carey, pre-boob job and diva status.

Modeling, on the other hand, did happen. From my late teens to early 20's I did a number of runway shows. I had a contract for fashion week in 2009. Modeling was, hands down, the crappiest job ever! Your body is just used to show clothes and you're poked and prodded at. People make comments on your figure, your hair color, your nose, everything. You need some thick skin to be a model! And most of it is a lot of waiting around. Call times would be 7 or 8am but I wouldn't actually get styled until 4pm and the show wasn't until 8pm. Sure the pay was decent but man, those are some LONG boring days. If I ever have a daughter, there's no way I'd get her into that industry. No. Way.

Circa 1994 with tortoise glasses and oversizeed flannel, playing dolls with my sis under the tree

My family life childhood dream was to be married by 28 and have four kids. Did I fulfill that dream? Close! I got married at 29, so I didn't miss the mark too much. After my first pregnancy and baby, I realized that four kids is an insane amount of children, so that's never gonna happen for me. In fact, that's a childhood dream I absolutely don't want to fulfill! No thank you.

As I child, I dreamed about going to college and perhaps getting a graduate degree too. Did I fulfill that childhood dream? Check and check! Honestly, I was more into socializing and athletics in high school, but I still managed to get good grades in enough AP classes to get me into a nationally ranked university. College was where I figured out I really like learning! I did my undergrad in 3.5 years and took graduate level classes to boot. I graduated with a 3.9GPA. After working for a few years in a soul-sucking corporate job I managed to get a free ride to grad school. So not only did I fulfill this childhood dream, I CRUSHED it.

1996 at my b-day party. Believe it or not, I was one of the popular girls in 6th grade. That gem of a sweater was from Express. Do people still shop at Express?!

I absolutely never wanted to own my own business as a child. Did I fulfill that dream? Hahaha, here I am with my own brand and business! See, my stepmom owned her own business and my sister and I would work with her on and off throughout our teen and college years. I saw how hard she worked. I thought, why would anyone want to work that hard? I thought, no thanks, I'll take a 9-5 job with a guaranteed paycheck. I did that for 10 years and there's something to be said for regular pay and regular hours. 

What I didn't understand as a child was that when you really like what you do, it doesn't feel like work. I remember commuting into my office job in my late 20's, dreading the day. With grant writing you either have very little to do or far too much to do. It drove me CRAZY when I only had two hours of work to do but had to sit in my office for the full "8 hour workday"! And then when I was in the busy season, I'd work long days, bring work home but still get the same paycheck. With owning my own business, I always get to control how busy I am. If I have capacity, I seek more paid work. If I don't have any paid posts in the works, I focus in on a skill to improve it so that I land more paid work, or I spend more time marketing my posts. If my to-do list is done, I get to spend the day however I want, not stuck in an office! The flexibility, especially with a young family, has been amazing. So I did the exact opposite of my childhood dream, and I'm much happier for it!

20 year old Paige and 21 yr old sis finally outgrew their ugly phases and tore up the streets in Prague

It's fun to think back on my dreams as a child and see what's worked out and what was left as just that: Dreams. For the most part, I've stuck to what I hoped for as a girl! A few things were never meant to be, like me being a singer. Some things were meant to be that I thought I didn't want, like owning my own business. It's so fun to compare your life to what you'd thought it would be like when you were a child, dreaming without limits.

Why I Won't Read Your Holiday Gift Guide Post

Bloggers love to put together gift guides, full of affiliate links for the items featured. Here's why I won't read them

Oh man, I can feel your evil stares through the screen as I write this! I mean no offense to bloggers who make these posts. I really don't. I use affiliate links too. I wrote this post about the current state of blogging and admitted my own faults with it. But that doesn't change my mind on gift guides. I absolutely, positively hate them. I stopped reading all gift guide posts, even in my small group of blogger friends where we read and comment on each other's posts no matter what. Why? I won't read your holiday gift guide post because they bum me out.

Look, there's absolutely no shame in trying to make a buck blogging. None. I buy through other's affiliate links as much as possible! But gift guides are absolutely atrocious.

The blogger talks about the item like they own it. Odds are, they don't. They'll describe a cashmere sweater by saying "I'm absolutely crushing on this super soft sweater! Perfect for your wives/girlfriends for date night, fellas!" But they're a 20-something single blogger. How in the heck do they know what's perfect for your wife or girlfriend? Yeah, they don't. Odds are, they've never even felt the sweater to know how "super soft" it is. Here's what that blogger did: She found it through her affiliate network, it was at the price point she was targeting for her post, it was available in lots of sizes and/or colors for mass appeal, and it was generic enough for her to describe it to you in relatively appealing terms. 

Not all bloggers pull that move, but most do. They might have one or two items in the gift guide, but the rest is simply there to tell you what you should buy that they don't own themselves and that you don't need. 

Besides the fact that most bloggers don't have the actual items they're telling you about and trying to get you to buy, another reason I won't read these dumb posts anymore is because I can't understand why someone would read that instead of simply asking the person they're buying for what they want. Seriously. Wanna know what to get your husband this year? ASK HIM. 

I was just texting with my brother in law last night about what he might want for Christmas, since he and my sister are kind enough to be flying to us for the holiday. Freaking ASK your loved one what they want for Christmas, or Mother's/Father's Day, or their birthday, or whatever reason or occasion you may be buying them a gift. Guess what asking them does?! It reduces wasted money because you're getting them what they really want instead of what you THINK they want. Or worse yet, what some blogger thinks your loved one might want.

That's all true about gift guides. But my largest issue with them, and the main reason I won't read my blogging friend's posts, is that they promote this sense of excessive materialism that I just cannot stand. There's gift guides for one year old's and there's gift guides for sister-in-law's and there's gift guides for new boyfriends and there's hostess-gift gift guides. Good grief! Here's what: Not everyone needs a gift! My mom absolutely never needs to buy me anything ever again in her lifetime. Her best gift to me is coming to visit me in Dallas and loving on her grand kids. (And taking over my kitchen and cooking for me, heehee!) She can keep her money for retirement. I don't want physical things from her, I want her time. I bet if people asked their loved ones what they wanted instead of blindly buying crap off the internet, they'd get similar responses.

That same thing goes for my husband. He doesn't have to buy me anything, just plan a few fewer business trips a year and be home more. (We do still gift each other things, but guess what? We ask the other person what they want!) I don't need stuff from my kids, either. Just let me sleep in. Just sleep through the night and sleep until 6:30am kids! You won't be finding that recommendation in any bogus gift guide, but I promise you just about every mom truly wants sleeping kids. They'd take it over any bathrobe or shiny new gold watch.

"But Paige! I don't want to ask my wife because I want to surprise her with something! I'm going to the internet to get ideas." Look, that's great. But if you want to "surprise" your loved one but don't have any ideas going into that surprise, it likely wont end as you'd hoped. Say you get her a fuzzy pair of slippers because a blogger listed them as amazing (even though she's likely never put them on, she just wanted to sell them to you). But your wife already has a pair that she loves. She thanks you for the gift, but they go on a shelf in her closet because she prefers the pair she already has, no matter how worn out they might be. Gift guides can result in more unused crap lying around the house that the person didn't really want to begin with. More excess. More stuff.

I know gift guide posts are time consuming for the blogger. I hope it drives up their affiliate sales enough to make them worth it! But I won't be reading those posts. The materialism and the desperate way bloggers try to describe products they don't own just to sell you on it makes me sad. And that's why I won't read your holiday gift guide post.

10 Ways To Use Lavender Essential Oil

Lavender is one of the most versatile essential oils! Here's 10 great ways to use it in your everyday life

Lavender essential oil is kinda like the "all purpose cleaner" of essential oils. It has a million uses and I haven't found much it's not good for yet! Most of my friends who are just starting to get into essential oils say that lavender is the first one they buy because it's not overly expensive, the smell is familiar and it's a "comfortable" oil to start with. Given it's popularity, I've rounded up some of the best, less common uses for it! Oh yeah, and I did a little research and found scientific studies that back up my claims on these genius uses for lavender. Just for all you science nerds and skeptics! I've underlined the scientific studies in case you want to jump right to those. You're welcome.

First, the essential oils! Revive oils are my new go-to. Yup, I used to be with Young Living, but the expense of those oils were insane. I asked some of my oily gurus who they got their oils from and learned about Revive. They're therapeutic grade, indigestible essential oils that are NOT a multi-level-marketing structure. You can go on their website and buy them like you'd buy something on Amazon - no need to sign up for some membership! They have packages with diffusers and single essential oils, plus roller bottles and other lifestyle items. Use code Paige10 for 10% off your order and experience the same quality of Young Living or doTERRA without the obnoxious price (and minus the sales people always trying to get you to buy things...)

1) Apply it neat or diluted to help fade scars. "Neat" means the essential oil goes directly on the skin; diluted means you mix it with a carrier oil like coconut or grape seed oil. Lavender has amazing calming properties (see number two!) not just for your mood but for your skin too (see number 3!) It's great for reducing redness, puffiness or swelling associated with scar tissue. In fact, French scientist Rene Gattefosse was the first to discover lavender's ability to promote tissue regeneration and speed wound healing after he burned his own arm in 1910!

2) Make your own face wash. I have this DIY acne clearing face wash post that has worked wonders for me. In fact, I used some conventional face wash in the shower because I forgot to apply my blend before getting in, and not only was my face dry all day, but it broke out to boot. Hmmphhff! The lavender in the wash helps heal any former acne scars you have, too, as noted in number 1.

3) Make your own bath salts. I wrote this post on why soaking in bath salts is important, and gave you a super easy DIY to include lavender in your bath salt soak. If you haven't read that one, it's full of some great information and worth your time! There's some actual science based on the nutrition (or lack thereof) we eat and how that affects your health. Most importantly, the post gives you ideas on what you can do about it.

4) Use topically for menstrual cramps. I haven't personally tried this one (because I don't get cramps - please don't hate me!) but in doing my research for this post, all my sources said that topically applying lavender essential oil helps to relieve cramps! It makes sense to me, given the calming properties of the oil. If you have doubts, read number 5 below:

5) Use topically instead of popping pills for headaches. Have a nasty stress headache? Place a drop on each temple and behind the ears and watch it reduce your tension headaches just as well as any over the counter pain reliever. Don't believe me? A placebo controlled, double blind crossover study  out of Christian-Albrecht University in Kiel, Germany found that essential oils were just as effective  in blocking pain from tension-type headaches as acetaminophen (aka Tylenol). Personally, I like the blend of lavender and peppermint when I'm having a headache. Works like a charm.

6) Apply it as a burn salve. Who burned her finger basting the turkey this Thanksgiving? This girl. I knew it was great for scars, and figured the calming properties of the plant would be helpful for a minor burn. I was right! I applied it neat to my burn site and two days later have no more irritation or red mark from the burn. Beauty bloggers/lovers, ever burned your finger or neck with a hot iron? Keep a bottle of lavender near your wands and curling irons!

7) Inhale or diffuse for a mental boost. Get this: University of Miami  researchers found that inhalation of lavender increased the beta waves in the brain. What does that imply? That lavender can heighten relaxation and improve cognitive performance. In addition, an Osaka Kyoiku University study from 2001 found that lavender reduced mental stress and increased mental alertness. 

8) Use it as a temper tantrum calmer. Whenever Henry is acting out, I pull out my lavender. As soon as I wave the bottle directly under his nose, he calms down. I'm not kidding! He sees me pull down the oils (that I store on the top of the fridge) and he now knows to inhale deeply as I pass it under his nose. Works like a charm, every single time. And number seven proves why.

9) Blend it with other essential oils for a nontoxic bug repellent spray. I've been to the North Woods of rural Wisconsin, lived in Minneapolis, lived in coastal Georgia and I can tell you this: No where and nobody has a nastier mosquito than Texas. They're not as large as in MN/WI but you can't hear them and you can't feel them bite you. All of a sudden, you're just COVERED in bites! Plus, they carry diseases like Zika and West Nile down here. Bottom line: I don't mess around with bug sprays! I need it to work. I need it to work so that my family stays healthy. This blend of essential oils, witch hazel and water worked great - just as good as a DEET-filled store bought brand. We keep bottles all over the house from March through November!

10) Sprinkle it on your pillow to battle insomnia. I apply 2-3 drops directly to my pillow case so that I inhale it all night long.

Want further advice about essential oils and other products to support them? Check out my Products I Love page!

Can we all agree that lavender essential oil has some pretty amazing uses and benefits? And that it isn't just a bunch of new-agey hoo-ha? I hope you learned some new things and plan on incorporating this wonderful oil into your daily life.