The Best Toy For Imaginative Play

The Thomas & Friends Super Station is a great way to support imaginative play in your children this holiday season

This post is sponsored by Thomas & Friends Super Station, but all opinions are my own.

We're in full-fledged holiday mode over here! Our halls are decked with lights and greenery and the stockings are hung over the fireplace. Next steps? Holiday shopping. Easily my least favorite thing to do on the planet. Have you ever gone to the mall, fought for a parking space, found one at the back of the lot, elbowed your way into the mall only to get elbowed out of the way, meandered about because you just didn't know what to get that person in your family, and left with a gift you weren't thrilled to give them? Can you tell I've had that experience, many times?! Yup, there's a little insight to my dislike for holiday shopping! The good news is I've got something for you today that doesn't require all that chaos. It's a unisex toy that allows your kids to be creative, can be used with multiple children at once, and is a "show stopper" toy without the high price tag. Yup, I'm giving you the deets on the best toy for imaginative play.

I think another one of my issues with holiday shopping, besides the typically unpleasant and crowded experience, is the sheer AMOUNT of stuff people give - or feel like they need to give. It's just all about STUFF. When that isn't really the reason for the season. For me, the holidays are about spending time together with family and friends and enjoying others' company. Growing up, we only got a handful of presents because my mom didn't want (and more accurately, likely didn't have the capacity as a single mom) the day to be about STUFF. It was about being together.

That's why I'm a fan of toys that are big enough for a "wow" factor from your kids, and big enough physically for more than one kid to play with it at once. That way, they can play together and enjoy their siblings or friends. The Thomas & Friends Super Station is great because it can be large enough for multiple children to play with it at once. Or, you can build the track small to fit in a smaller space. And it all comes apart for easy storage, and can be rebuilt in a different way the next day. The combination of the tracks creates endless designs to race and play with trains.

Already have a smaller Thomas & Friends train play set? That's cool, this set works with any train, no matter the scope! Your old set wont go wasted with this. This track can hold over 100 engines. It's got two race tracks plus room for floor play. However your child can imagine to build it, it can be played with! And perhaps my favorite feature is that it's available at Walmart and walmart.com so you can pick it up on your weekly shopping trip you'd make anyway, or order it online and avoid the holiday chaos all together. Yes!

For me, the holidays are all about being together and spending time with family and friends, not about endless amounts of gifts, presents and stuff. That's why I'm a huge fan of the one "show stopper" present for my boys - it's something big that they can play with together. It enables my kids to be creative and use their imaginations, which is the kind of play I try to promote. And it's easy to find (or order online!) at Walmart. All of these things make this the best toy  for imaginative play, in my opinion!

Thoughts On My Postpartum Body

I've had four babies in four years, most recently a set of twins. Here's where I think women go wrong in their postpartum body image identification

I've documented my pregnancy and now postpartum journey on my Instagram page. Mostly just brief thoughts I've had along the way, or what I'm feeling in a particular moment. But one of my latest photos got me thinking more about how women process their postpartum bodies. I shared how I was bouncing back faster than I ever have before, despite this being baby three and four for me - twins on top on multiple pregnancies for my body! It spurred some interesting conversations in the comments and in my DMs, and I think it warranted it's own blog post: thoughts on my postpartum body and where I think women go wrong.

3 weeks postpartum with twins

If you've followed my story, you know that my first baby was a surprise. I had planned an all natural birth at a birth center with midwives and ended up having a difficult pregnancy, switched careers at 7 months pregnant, and ended up with an emergency c section with a MD in a hospital. It was all so last minute, we had to google directions to the hospital as we were on our way! That pregnancy and birth experience led me to some pretty serious postpartum depression (PPD) that went unrecognized by me (I thought I just wasn't very good at being a mom). But here's the interesting thing: none of that PPD was caused by body image issues. I never once was depressed about the way I looked, my new unplanned for scar across my abdomen, my saggy stomach skin. 

Fast forward to my second baby, Otto. He was such an easy pregnancy, and I was able to deliver him via VBAC. I got the pregnancy women dream of and the exact birth I wanted. I was able to breastfeed him past my own goal in terms of number of months. I didn't have the same level of PPD as I did with Henry - possibly because so many things went right for me/went according to my plan that I was happier, possibly because I wasn't a first time mom and had a small clue what I was getting into. I did have a fair amount of postpartum anxiety that made my relationship with my husband strained for a bit, but again, that was entirely unrelated to my postpartum body.

I should note, I don't love the way I look immediately after giving birth. I wouldn't volunteer to walk around in a bikini. I'm swollen and puffy and have loose skin just like every other woman who's popped a baby out. I wear the granny panties and use belly bandits just like other women do.

When I found out I was pregnant with twins, one of the first thoughts I had was, "Omg, my body is going to get destroyed with this pregnancy!" I cried about the stretch marks I'd never end up getting, I'd lie awake in bed at night, frantically combing through Instagram hashtags on what women's bodies who had delivered twins looked like after birth. It TERRIFIED me. I knew I had lucked out with my singleton babies and not gaining much weight or getting stretch marks, but the internet told me I was totally screwed with twins. I desperately massaged oils on my belly and examined every inch of my stomach, hips, thighs and butt at every shower, convinced that *this was the week* my body would morph into the photos I saw online.

1 week postpartum with twins

Let's flip the script for a minute. What if things had been worse than what I saw online? Then I'd be left to constantly wonder why I wasn't like all the other pregnant twin moms. I'd wonder what was wrong with me, or my body. I'd wonder why I was the chosen one to look the way I did. Perhaps I'd think I did something wrong or something to "deserve" a harder pregnancy on my body. Maybe I'd even feel disdain for women who looked great and showed the world online all of her beautiful greatness.

On either side of the coin, it's comparison that's the problem. Perhaps it's just me (I don't think it is...) but it's SO hard not to compare your life to other's that you see post their photos and experiences online. For good and for bad, it's human nature to see something and process it in the context of your own life, your own experiences.

And that, friends, is where I went wrong with my body image. I wasn't even postpartum yet and I was wrapped up in what was HAPPENING TO EVERYONE ELSE. Comparison is the thief of joy. And me thinking I'd be just like the photos on Instagram was making me a crazy person. Before I was even postpartum!

So often, the postpartum message is one of struggle. Of women hating their new bodies, however temporary those changes may or may not be. It's one that lacks compassion and it's one of constant comparison to other women who have birthed babies. It's a depressing narrative to read, over and over. "Embrace your scars!" "You earned your tiger stripes!" "That pooch just means you've created life!" 

I don't take issue with women trying to put a positive spin on the changes their bodies have gone through. Far from it! I think that's wonderful. My issue is in the comparison. We're all comparing war stories, as it were, of giving and recovering from birth. We're all commiserating together. And all that commiserating and comparison takes up all the space and doesn't leave room for the POSITIVE stories out there. The ones that focus on happiness and joy, perhaps even pride in a mother's postpartum journey. No, those women are forced to the sidelines with their stories. They're the rich and famous; the unicorns in society that don't really exist. 

I spent seven months of my twin pregnancy terrified of what it meant for me and my body. Because I was comparing myself to what I could find online, on social media, in mom blogs. Because the negative stories are easy to find. What a waste of seven months! It was then, when my belly was really big, that I started to relax. "Hey!" I thought, "maybe this won't be so bad..." I wish I hadn't wasted seven months terrified of what a twin pregnancy would never end up doing to my body. I wish I hadn't read all the postpartum stories of women who were dramatically negatively impacted by giving birth. All it did was cause me fear.

I don't think we should try to predict what will or won't be. I wish I had just done what I did with my first two children and let it be. No online research or late night hashtag combing. Just go with the flow. The less I thought about it, and still to this day the less I think about it, the easier the postpartum transition is. 

I didn't love the way I looked in the mirror that first shower after delivering my twins. I remember taking my robe off and sucking in a big gulp of air, thinking Lord! That's rough. I was bruised and bloated and had specks of blood suck to me in the surgical glue they used on my c section scar. I had stitches in my vagina and was in desperate need of a good wax. But I knew my focus for the next six weeks would have to be on recovering and getting into a breastfeeding routine with the twins, so I started the hot water and pulled myself away from the mirror.

The next time I looked in it, likely a full week later because showers don't come easy to new moms, I thought, "Whoa, that's better than I thought it'd be." Then I pulled myself away because I had all of 5 minutes before the next feeding session with the twins. Two weeks later, I even snapped a pic. Hey, I thought, this really isn't too bad! But again, my focus was on getting sleep and feeding babies. 

I had completely ditched my late night Instagram surfing habit. And was immeasurably happier!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Boymom&Lifestyle Blog | Paige (@anuncomplicatedlifeblog) on Nov 6, 2018 at 6:42am PST

This was the photo on Instagram that sparked this blog post!

All of this is to say, when I stopped comparing what my reality either could be or was to other postpartum moms, I got a lot happier. When I stopped looking at myself with critical eyes, I got a lot happier. Hell, when I stopped looking at myself at all, I was happy! I found a few things to focus on, which took my focus off my physical self, and wouldn't you know - things fell into place. Weight came off naturally. Swelling went down. Every time I'd get a sideways glance in the mirror, I'd think, wow, that's not as bad as I expected it to be. Nice job, Paige! Now, go feed a baby or two.

Whether you have the expectations on yourself to "bounce back" quickly or you feel like society does, I'd highly recommend taking your focus off it. I wouldn't read the mom blogs with the war stories (ironic I'm telling you not to read this as you're reading this, no?) and I wouldn't look at the pictures. Just be on your own journey. You aren't everyone else. I'm not everyone else. Everyone has their own story to tell, but that doesn't mean it's going to be YOUR story.

The Most Annoying Things You Could Ever Say

Modern sayings and verbal fillers have gotten out of control with how annoying they are. Here's my top 5 list of the MOST annoying things you could say

Ever noticed how some people say the most annoying things constantly?! Now to be fair, I'm sitting here writing this 9 months pregnant with twins, waiting for my contractions to become consistent enough to go to the hospital, so dang near everything is annoying to me. But I started crafting this verbal diarrhea list a few weeks ago.  Yup, verbal diarrhea. That's what's coming out of your mouth if you say these things! You look ridiculous, you sound even worse (more on that in the post below!) and at the very best, people are doubting your intelligence. Wondering what these things are? Read on for the most annoying things you could ever say! 

"... But I wouldn't have it any other way"
I'm starting out of the gate strong, with THE most annoying thing people say. I absolutely hate this saying and judge people harshly who use it. It usually follows a train wreck of a sentence on how horrible a person thinks their current situation/life is, then they add this qualifier on the end to make it sound like they're happy, or not complaining, or whatever they think this saying adds. It really just makes you sound like the most passive aggressive person on the face of the planet. For example, we all have friends on social media who say things like:

"My house is a wreck, I now spend 20 hours a week doing laundry, and I wake up five times a night with the baby while my husband sleeps... But I wouldn't have it any other way!" Actually no Courtney, it sounds like your life sucks pretty hard and your husband is a jackass. I bet you'd change a whole lot of it right about now! Or this -
"Just worked 80 hours over the weekend at a conference, met tons of marketing contacts to follow up with this week, still have three deadlines and bad case of the Monday's, but I wouldn't have it any other way! #hustlehard #baller #makethatmoney." Ooooook Dan, you've never heard of work-life balance and you probably have close to no friends with that life. Not to mention, I likely out earn you and never work that hard. But keep telling yourself your hustle will pay off! Work smarter, not harder buddy. You sound desperate.

"You know how babies are made, right?"
I get it. You want to be funny and you're not quite sure how. Maybe large families make you uncomfortable? It kind of blows my mind that four kids is considered a large family these days... It used to be the small side of average. If you want to make a comment about a family or it's size, here are some great things to say that won't piss off the average woman:

"Need a hand? I can get that for you!"
"Good thing you made so many, because you make beautiful children."
"You're managing this like a pro, what a great mom you are!"
"Let me put those groceries in your car so you can focus on getting your kids in safely."
"Girl look at you go! You are FERTILE. Good for you!"
The last one was actually said to me this summer on a Delta flight by one of the flight attendants. She had a thick Southern, country accent and was hilarious. Her comment might offend some, but I thought it was so dang funny. Also, true. Clearly I know how babies are made so that's just idiotic. But I am indeed fertile and her calling it out made me and everyone around me laugh!

Starting off nearly every sentence (verbal or written) with, "So, ..."
This one is hard to listen to. "So" is a verbal filler, such as "like" or "ummm" but for whatever reason, it's "trendy" to start whatever you're about to say with "so." If it's in your written word, it makes you look like a bad editor. You'd never leave "ummmm" or "like, ..." in your writing, therefore edit out those "so's"!

The most atrocious place I hear "Soooooo, ..." is on Instagram Stories. Some influencers  start nearly every dang story with a stupid "so"! Sorrynotsorry, you sound like an idiot. You sound like you don't know what to say, but you feel the need to stay relevant in people's feeds so you're pushing out content even when it's not well planned, or there's not a clear point to it. Knock the so's off. It doesn't sound good, it doesn't make you look good and frankly (I've discussed this with my best blogging friends) we click right out of your obnoxious stories.

"It is what it is."
Class Valedictorian right here! Captain Obvious! Speaker of deep thoughts! Straight up Gandhi! If you're going to say this, just do us all a solid and stay quiet. Silence is golden; this saying annoys everyone. We all know it is what it is. My two year old knows it is what it is. Now he's a really smart kid - just skipped a year of preschool in fact - but if you want to sound like you're on a toddler level, by all means, tell us all it is what it is.

"Irregardless, ..."
I know this "word" is now in the Urban Dictionary for sure, and it may have been added to Webster's Dictionary, simply because dumb people keep using it and forcing it into modern day vernacular. Make no mistake though; this is not a word. It's a double negative, therefore it negates itself. Regardless is what you're looking for. Irregardless means nothing because the "ir" of irregardless changes the meaning back to normal or status quo. Whenever I hear someone say this word, all I can think is man! This person didn't go to college and also didn't pay attention in high school English. That's rough.

"I just seen him!"
Ok, this one is second to "but I wouldn't have it any other way." In the last two years or so, it's like the whole internet has forgotten that the past tense of "to see" is SAW. Not seen. You just SAW him. You just SAW that movie. You just SAW a car wreck. If you want to use the word "seen" you have to use the verb "to have" in front of it. "I have seen him" or "I've seen that movie" or "I have seen several car wrecks today." I don't know why seen has taken the place of saw, especially in lower socio-economic circles, but holy cow y'all. Please stop!

Nearly equally annoying is misplacing "worst" for "worse." Follow along with me now: "Things couldn't be worse because I'm having the worst day." See how that works? Great. These are more grammatical and less of a saying per se (PUNS!) but deserving on a list of annoying 'ish people say.

Don't be that annoying person and use these awful sayings! They make you sound passive aggressive, unintelligent, or just straight up like an obvious jerk. Were there any that are your list that I missed? Drop me a comment with the common sayings you find most annoying and we can commiserate together!