An Uncomplicated Life Blog: July 2015

Friday, July 31, 2015

Friday Favorites July 31 Edition

Whoohoo, hello August! I can't wait for you to come and leave. See, this is my least favorite month. Why? Because I'm in Texas: it's hot, it's dry, and it's the last month before I can start to bust out the fall decorations. And fall means Halloween!

So what's up August, glad you're here and let's get your hot, long self moving right along, mmmmk?

Here are my Friday Favorites for the week:

1) Paige from Rocksbox reached out to send me some goodies! a) Her name was also Paige and b) free jewelry sent my way? Hello, collab heaven! More deets to come next week. I know y'all have seen this on other blogs, but my shipment looks WAY different from most. I'll tell you why and how you can get the same higher quality pieces sent to you FOR FREE with code anuncomplicatedlifeblogxoxo!

Get monthly jewelry sent to your home from #Rocksbox, a monthly jewelry subscription box

2) We booked our babymoon to Cap Cod for mid September! Yet another reason why August needs to hurry up and leave.

3) I got such a positive response from this post, it went mini-viral! I could not be more thrilled to be working with Gerber®, sharing the word on how a baby formula/food company provides parents FREE access to lactation consultants, nutritionists and 1:1 sleep consultations. I'm so grateful for all the kind words I received as I told my story on why I switched from breastfeeding to formula when Henry was an infant.

Reading children - a #formulaforhappiness!
My #formulaforhappiness is a child who loves to read and explore!

4) Less than one week until we find out if baby 2 is a boy or a girl! I feel like once we know that, that's when we'll really start to shop, plan and prepare to the arrival of this little one.

5) For my more holistic health readers, have you ever been to an essential oils party? I haven't, but am going to my first one on Sunday. I'm so excited to learn about new oils and learn new ways to use some of my old favorites! #hippiealert

Using #essentialoils for better, naturual and holistic health

I'm linking up with my favorite ladies: Amanda, Karli, Friday 5 and H54F to share all our favorites! Have a lovely weekend doing weekendy things, and stay cool for me! Lord knows it will be 110 here everyday, so I can be found sticking my head into the nearest freezer... :)

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Would You Rather...?

Time for a fun game!

I came up with this as I was driving in my car, talking to myself. I think Henry thinks I'm talking to him, as he stares at me (mirror on the back of the headrest facing him directed into my review mirror) like I'm giving him the wisdom of the world... Oh no kid, I'm just shooting the $h!t with myself, coming up with blog posts. No wisdom here buddy!

Anyway, through these animated conversations with myself, I came up with this gem of a game. Rules are simple: Two situations are pitted against each other, and you have to pick one. I told you these were deep conversations...

A fun game for bloggers when they're out of blog post ideas!

Let's begin!

Would you rather drink and dance at a honky tonk or a posh NYC club?
In my current state of life, gimme the honky tonk! I've developed a disdain for pretentious people in my ripe old age of 30. Five to seven years ago, I'd have taken that club in a minute!

Would you rather be stranded in the snow for a whole winter or deserted on an island for the rest of your life? 
Funny, I've been stranded in the snow for a whole winter. It's called living in Minnesota... I'm an extrovert though, so I suppose that's still a bit better than flying solo on the beach for the rest of my life. This one's a close call!

Would you rather step on a lizard or a small snake?
NOOOOOO. We get little lizards in our house fairly consistently (those mofo's are tricky and can get into the smallest of cracks!) Fortunately our biggest dog, Baxter, is a dog of the streets (aka a rescue) and loves to kill them. Straight thuggin' style. I just call him on over and he takes care of the problem. Then he gets a mountain of praise and several large handfuls of treats and looks to be about the proudest dog that ever was! He's even training our littlest dog (a Morkie, who's 11lbs) to kill. Thank God, because I'm sure not going to touch that thing.

Oh what's that, I haven't answered the question? Yes I'm stalling. Both freak me out. I guess the lizard is slightly less gross... Just slightly. 

Would you rather walk around (unknowingly) with your skirt tucked in your panties in the back or with baby poo smeared all down your side?
Considering I workout five to six days a week and am pretty proud of my rump, I'll go with the skirt situation. I also know how disgusting it is to walk around with a....... ahem! surprise all down your back. It inevitably transfers to something else and you think, "where did THAT come from?!" And then you realize it's YOU. It came off YOU. So. Disgusting. Flashing people a panty-clad rump? Aint no thang. I've given birth, you think a butt flash scares me? HAHAHAHAHAHAH YOU'RE FUNNY.

Would you rather die young but be remembered for doing something great, or live a long life and have your memory go along with you?
I'll take the long life with my loved ones. I don't understand why everyone wants to be remembered. Memories are for YOU. You can't control how others think of you. So live your life, have a great time, be with your loved ones and let it go.

Just don't sing that Frozen crap around me. I have a house full of males for a reason, and it's to NOT listen to bad Disney musicals, please and thank you.

Feel free to come up with your own silly questions to ask yourself if you want to play along. I'd love to hear how y'all would answer!

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Social Media Overkill

We all get it. Social media is a massive part of blogging - perhaps THE most massive. It's big to small businesses as it's the "free" way to promote your brand. It's big to everyone. It's 24/7.

It's 2015; this is not news to anyone.

I'm not even talking about the standard Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Pinterest either - now there's Snapchat and Periscope and God knows what else to keep you glued to your phone to stay "up to date with what's happening!"

Paying more attention to #socialmedia than what's REALLY happening in life

On Sunday, hubs was futzing around the house or the yard or where/whatever he was doing, and Henry and I were in the play room. I was sitting on the floor with my iPhone, "staying up to date with what's happening!" with my real friends and my blogging friends. Henry was getting fussy and I was getting annoyed with him.

"Dang kid, you have a room full of blocks and firetrucks and Minions! Find something to entertain yourself with!" I thought. He continued to get louder and louder.

Finally, I put my phone down and looked at him, completely annoyed. Doesn't he know mommy has to stay engaged to remain relevant on social media?!

Henry stopped fussing immediately, flashed me a big smile and handed me a piece of a puzzle. He wasn't hungry or thirsty and his diaper wasn't wet. He just wanted me to look at him instead of my phone. He just wanted his mom to pay attention and play with him.

There have been numerous articles on how destructive social media is to our personal relationships, especially romantic ones. Recently, I've read several articles on how there's a new generation of children who are developing behavior problems because they're competing for their parents attention with PHONES. I remember reading that and thinking, "Psshhhh! Those parents suck!"

And then I realized I WAS that parent.

Are you spending too much time on #socialmedia and not watching your kids?
"Just ripping the child safety foam off the fireplace ledge mama, nothing to see here. Get back to your phone."

I had a serious wake up call this weekend. Yes, my Twitter and Instagram have exploded and I'm trying to figure out how to be successful at this thing called Periscope. And in the process, I'm ignoring my son. He's playing by himself while his mom is glued to a f#*&!^g screen. I'm not staying "up to date with what's happening!' No. I'm missing EVERYTHING.

Perhaps if you're not married or don't have children you can successfully live your life through a screen. Perhaps it's the very reason you aren't married and don't have kids. I hit my social media overkill point this weekend when I realized I'd rather live my REAL life in REAL time. Screens don't capture snuggles from my little boy or kicks from my baby-in-utero. They don't capture back rubs from my husband or licks from my dogs.

I'm glad I got this wake up call and have since put my phone down to take in my real life. Are you still living through a screen?

Monday, July 27, 2015

Happy Baby, Happy Mama: My Formula for Happiness™

I've mentioned before that I found breast feeding extremely challenging, and that it also made bonding with my baby exceptionally more difficult.

But I want to share a bit more of the story with you. My story is not like that of other moms; I had no latch or supply issues. I CHOSE to formula feed Henry, weaning him off breast milk, when he was three months old. Why? Because I wasn't happy. Because I was struggling. Frankly, I was miserable. Allow me to explain my Formula for Happiness™:

Tips for happy babies and happy moms! #formulaforhappiness

Henry was born a month early via emergency c section because he was in the breech position. While the birth wasn't what I had imagined, I was so lucky that my preterm baby figured out a successful latch almost immediately, and my milk supply came right in! I was in a dreamland of new-mommydom, so thankful to no longer have the aches and pains of pregnancy. I wasn't tired yet. The all night nursing sessions hadn't caught up to me. I thought parenthood and breast feeding was amazing.

Until it did catch up with me. At three weeks old, Henry would SCREAM with gas pains. I contacted a certified lactation consultant who suggested I stop eating dairy. Most babies have trouble digesting the lactose produced in their mother's milk in the newborn phase, especially preterm babies with immature digestive systems. So I did. Henry seemed happier. But me? I was miserable. I'm mostly vegetarian, and dairy was a main source of calories for me. Everything from my morning coffee (with cream in it) to my lunch (avocado and cheese sandwich) to my dinner (lasagne) had to change. I felt like I couldn't eat anything.

Tips for happy babies and moms! #formulaforhappiness
I exclusively breast fed Henry for three months before switching to fomula

About three weeks after we got home from the hospital, the all-night nursing sessions started to catch up with me. The good news was that I had a big eater on my hands who was rapidly putting on weight! I didn't need to consult a nutritionist about baby's weight gain like so many mothers do. But that also meant that I was up every two hours, nursing Henry for a half hour at a time. Right as we'd get him back in his bassinet, turned off the lights and got re-settled in for more sleep, he'd be up again wanting to nurse an hour later. I have distinct memories of hating watching the sun go down, because nighttime meant that we'd be up all night nursing and changing Henry.

I wish I'd have known that Gerber Good Start offers moms - all parents in fact! - free access to sleep consultants! I'd have been on that website scheduling a consultation SO fast. I was exhausted. I hadn't slept more than four hours a night in weeks, and those four hours were not consecutive.

Tips for happy babies and moms! #formulaforhappiness
Don't let this angel fool you: We had been up all night. I wish I had known about sleep consultants with Henry!

When Henry was six weeks old, I caved and started to introduce formula, such as Gerber® Good Start® Gentle. I wanted to see how he would take to bottle feeding. Wouldn't you know, my excellent little nurser was also an excellent bottle-eater. He took whatever he was given! We fluctuated easily between bottle feeding and nursing for another month or so. During the day I would nurse him; at night we would formula feed him. Bonus: Daddy got to help with the nighttime feedings that way!

When Henry was three months old, I decided to exclusively formula feed him. The day I made that decision, I became a happier mom! I was able to eat dairy again. I didn't need to wear nursing tanks nonstop, and could wear normal bras too. I simply started to feel like my old self again.

The choice to breast or formula feed (or both, like I did!) is a personal matter. Sometimes medical conditions force that choice on you; sometimes you have to make the best call for everyone's sanity. Formula feeding is not evil nor does it make you a bad mom! Gerber® knows this, and provides FREE access to certified lactation consultants for the mamas who want to nurse and Gerber® Good Start® Gentle to the mamas who either have to or want to formula feed.

At the end of the day, we all just want to have happy babies and be happy mamas (or daddies), right?! I'll be sharing more of my Formula for Happiness™ on Instagram and I'd love for you to show me your happy parenting moments too! Follow along with the hashtag #formulaforhappiness.

Gerber® Good Start® Gentle believes that the Formula for Happiness™ can be a lot of things, and moms have different ways of enjoying the journey through motherhood.

Friday, July 24, 2015

Friday Favorites July 24th Edition

I'm feelin' this old school Friday Favorites business, so I'm going to keep the ball rolling throw-back style and talk about the best five moments of my week. It was a great week, so there wasn't a shortage of events/things to choose from!

Plus, I've really gotten into reading these posts from other bloggers. Is it just me, or is anyone else "list"ed and "tip"ped out?! I know those blog posts do well on promotion sites, but sheesh I'm snoozin' with all the "tips and tricks"! #forealdoe

Here she blows:

1) I FINALLY headed to Michael's Craft Store and bought supplies to craft this floral arrangement for our fireplace mantel (or is is mantle?). I've been planning this for, ohhhhhh, over five months. I pretty much got it up just in time to take it down to put up Halloween stuff. Muhahaha!

Hand crafted floral arrangement

2) Teen Mom 2 is in full force, and hubs was on a business trip all week for me to get caught up on episodes. I LOVE Teen Mom 2 (not any of the others, they're garbage) but hubs literally starts to convulse with disgust when it's on, so I sneak it in during business-trip-hours.

3) I had only been using my small planner to organize Henry's schedule, my schedule, this blog's editorial calendar and various notes, receipts, ideas, shopping lists, etc. Needless to say, my weekly layout was getting so jam packed I couldn't read it and was starting to lose my cool. So I picked up these additional supplies to better be Henry's personal assistant mom, yogi/barre girl and blogger. Sanity? Saved.

Supplies to help you be a better blogger

4) As I mentioned, hubs was out of town all week for work. Outside of watching trashy TV, I spent a lot of time texting my blogging friends... About blogging, real life, more blogging, got some blogging advice, gave some blogging advice... You get it. I love this blogging community! I literally owe it my sanity as a SAHM.

5) It remains 100++++ degrees here, so I remain mooching off my sweet friends who were smart enough to buy homes with pools in their backyards. Henry is a swimming natural and loves to be UNDER water. Who 14 mo old loves to hold his breath, open his eyes and chill? Who 14 mo old, who's never had a swimming lesson in his life, knows to go on his belly and kick his legs and pull with his arms? Oh, just my kid. Like I said... #nextMichaelPhelps

This 14 mo old is 32lbs (!!) of MUSCLE - look at those pecs and center ab line! 2032 Olympics here we come

Linking up with Amanda, Karli, Friday 5 and H54F, per usual. Check out their awesome blogs and have yourself a lovely weekend!

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Shop Dallas: Indigo 1745

I received a blogging invite to head over to the Bishop Arts District to check out a boutique shop, Indigo 1745. There were two things about this offer I could not refuse: Being in the Bishop Arts District (the only likable, non-uppity, Lily Pulitzer-saturated on-trend neighborhood in Dallas) and learning about a boutique shop that specializes in local designers and small brands.

Um, yes and yes please!

I met with Denise, the shop's owner and all-around lovely woman, who gave me the lowdown on her clothing philosophy: Easy to wear, comfortable fashion that makes you look and feel good. Who can't get behind that, right? Indigo 1745 carries both local designers and unique labels from as far away as London.

These are "upcycled" Saris from India, used to make Dallas-summer-weather-appropriate blouses. How cool is that?!

Sound expensive? Nope. I'm a bargain hunter, and no pricetag raised a single one of my discerning eyebrows.

I'll be honest: I was nervous to accept this opportunity because a) I'm very tall/slender and have trouble finding clothes that fit in general, especially with unfamiliar brands b) I'm just about five months pregnant and this wasn't a maternity store - tall/sender/AND pregnant? Nothing would fit me for sure, and I'd just frustrate everyone involved.

I cannot tell you how wrong I was! EVERYTHING I tried on fit and looked awesome. Nothing there looked like anything I already have. All of the colors and the fabric weights were perfect for the relentless Dallas summers - even as a pregnant woman.

Indigo 1745 carries men and women's apparel, accessories and shoes

Denise delivers on her promise to provide comfortable, easy to wear fashion. I felt good in everything I tried on. Yes, a 5'10 pregnant woman felt fantastic in non-maternity clothes! While every woman who has ever been pregnant can feel me on that, the tall preggos are nodding their heads enthusiastically and clicking over to Indigo 1745's site rightnow.

I wanted to take one of everything in my size; alas, I settled on this colorful maxi dress from Askari Collection. Shirin Askari is a North Texas native who has been featured on Project Runway and is now killin' it in NYC, rocking Fashion Week in cities all over the world. I was so thrilled I was able to select something from a local gal who's doing big things in fashion!

5'10, five months pregnant and this non-maternity maxi still touches the ground. Heaven on Earth? Maybe.

The airy, light, colorful fabric is perfect for Texas summers
If you're in the Dallas area, I highly suggest heading over to the Bishop Arts District to check out Indigo 1745! Not a local? No worries! Their website is fully stocked with tons of goodies to ship to where you are.

*I received this dress complimentary in exchange for this blog post. There are no affiliate links in this post. All opinions, words and photos are my own and copyrighted to An Uncomplicated Life Blog.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

What Marriage REALLY Looks Like: An Interview With Hubs

When I wrote this "bumpdate" about my 4th month of pregnancy, I said it would be best to ask my husband about my mood... Which got my little creative wheels spinning. Wouldn't it be fun to interview hubs about me and our marriage?!

So I crafted up some questions, prepared a great home cooked meal and fed hubs (who's name is Kirk, btw) a few brews, just to ensure honesty on his part.

Behold! What our marriage looks like, through the eyes and ears of my husband. Questions are in bold, hubs answers are normal font, and my thoughts/antidotes are in italics.

What's my best quality?
Your tenacity for love, family and food. You're one of the most passionate and intense people I've ever met, and I love how I never have to guess what you're thinking or how you're feeling. You just throw it out there. Sometimes recklessly.

What's my worst quality?
When you're wrong about something and don't want to admit it.

I asked hubs to provide an example. He couldn't come up with one. Why? Because I'm rarely ever wrong. Just wanted to let the record show that no example could be found.

Whatever was going on in this photo, I was definitely RIGHT, and hubs knew it. Look at that face!

What are my best and worst physical traits?
Best: {answers quickly and enthusiastically} your LEGS!
Worst: When you don't shower for days and days and days, you smell.

Hmmmmm, looks like daddy needs to step up to the plate and give mommy (aka ME) 15 minutes of baby-free time to more regularly shower! Or, I need to knock it off with the natural deodorant combined with daily workouts. Probably both.   

Why did you ask me to marry you? (I'm giving you the real, live, play-by-play here)
Hubs: "Oh hey, this is a good question!! Hmmmm... Well, you're smoking hot for one."
Me: {insert tilted-head-are-you-a-13-year-old-man-child look of death} "I'm going to give you another shot to answer this one so you don't look like an idiot to the public."
Hubs: "Ok! Ughhhhhh... I loved you. I could see things working out between us. And, you know, the timing was good."

Ladies and gents: My eloquent, romantic husband. A true, modern day poet.

Is there anything about me that you don't understand?
Your moods! Including when you're in a good mood... Sometimes I think your shit will hit the fan when you find out about something bad, but you'll just shrug your shoulders and smile. I don't understand why you like reality TV so much, including that dumb Housewives show. But that's pretty much it.

You're not like other women - you don't have too many shoes and you don't want me to predict your feelings. You don't hoard makeup, there's not 50 curling irons left out constantly and I don't ever have to check our bank accounts and worry that you're spending too much money on clothes or any other materialistic bullshit that most women buy nonstop. I can't STAND women like that! Maybe this should get added to why I married you? You're a 10 but you act like a dude, so it's like the best of both worlds. 

Getting details from hubs is sometimes like pulling teeth (previous question), sometimes as simple going to the fridge for another beer. It was the latter in this case.

I showered enough for hubs to get close to me on our big day! But I was only 5 months pregnant and still in the habit of showering on the reg...

What's something that's changed in me since we've had children?
You're far more patient now. I don't know HOW you handle listening to Henry's whining and tantrums day in and day out! It drives me nuts, and you just calmly sit there and wait for him to be done. And you do it all day, everyday, but I can't handle three minutes of it. Also... You don't shower as much.

POINT TAKEN WITH THE SHOWERS, BRO. Hire me a nanny and our problems are solved. Also, we have one of the most easy going toddlers on the face of the planet. He's seriously only whiny for his daddy. Sorry babe!

What are you most looking forward to in our future together?
Filling up the house with kids! You're a really good mommy and I can't wait to see you with more kids running around. I want to celebrate Christmas and birthdays together, and do family things. Oh, and I'm also really looking forward to all these kids moving out and it being just you and me again.

I think THIS can also be added to the "why did you marry me" section: We share a knack for contradictory thinking. It's like awwwww, babies! I love babies! Now when are you moving out and getting your own life and leaving me alone?

What do you love most about me?
You challenge me to be a better husband and father every single day. 

Awwwww. He just redeemed himself from that first marriage question. 

That's our marriage, folks! Is yours similar? Do you think you'd get any surprise answers if you interviewed your spouse?

Monday, July 20, 2015

What I'm Excited About for Baby #2

Pregnancy isn't really my jam, but I am excited about having a newborn in the house again. I know, call me crazy. I'm not pumped about the lack of sleep or the chaotic schedule, but there are a few things I'm REALLY looking forward to with a second go-around with an infant! Here's the short list:

Breastfeeding. As an experienced mom, I now have a few tricks up my sleeve to make this an easier process than it was with H. I had no production or latch issues with him, but that boy wanted to nurse every two hours and ate everything I produced! I was green on how to pump properly, how supply/demand worked and the whole process in general. Now? I get it, and I'm ready for it - even if I have another super hungry boy like Henry was!

And if I still struggle to eat enough (OMG, you have to eat constantly - who wants to consume that much food??? Everyone talks about that like it's a benefit. It's not. It's a pain in the a$$), drink enough water and am just plain too tired to nurse all the time like I was with H, I'll switch that baby over to formula a heck of a lot faster than I did with Henry! I toughed it out for three solid months with him. I'm going to give it a good try, but if it's just as miserable a process as it was the first time? Formula, all the way! Sanity is better than breast milk. Period.

Baby wearing. I didn't get into baby wearing like hubs did with Henry. Maybe it was because I could just carry him everywhere since he was my first and I had the available arms... But it was never my thing. I've gotten a few carriers sent my way already and I'm excited to try them out. It will be especially nice with a winter baby - gimme all those little warm baby snuggles!

Nursery prep. Ok, so this is more of a pregnancy thing. With H, we didn't own the home we were in so we couldn't do anything to the walls. I didn't want to buy curtains for a home we weren't going to be in long. I didn't know ordering furniture took three to four months, so his stuff didn't even arrive until after he was here! Now we own our home and I have free reign to nest away. I have two sets of plans depending on the baby's gender... Just patiently waiting for that news to get cranking on the nursery!

Being a second time mom. Y'all know that, for me, adjusting to motherhood was HARD (read about it here here and here). The hardest thing I've done in my life, without question or doubt. The struggle to CONSTANTLY be needed, have no time to myself anymore and the permanent scar and changes to my body was a mental hurdle brick wall I had to scale without safety ropes or a ladder. Frankly, it robbed me of much of my joy of having a newborn.

It's not that having a second won't bring it's own set of challenges; it will. But for me, the gear-shift into motherhood has been made already. I'm beyond excited to actually to have the opportunity to enjoy having a baby, spending my time soaking up the new baby smell and baby snuggles!

Friday, July 17, 2015

The Funny Thing About Blogging

Remember when I wrote this post about Henry being behind the development curve on some things? And then that very week, I told y'all this - the very things I wrote about him not doing, he started doing after that post went live!

Babies are strange like that...

And then this week I talked about summer pregnancies, and how insane and hot and sick I am. I was having a big pity party of one, basically. Well wouldn't you know, the day after I wrote that I started to feel amazing! Like, my former self level good. I had completely forgotten how great it feels to just feel normal and not icky-pregnant. Amazingness.

Christmas in July, y'all!

Blogging has been funny like that.

Do you think if I write about money, the next day I'll magically stumble across a million dollars?! Maybe win the lottery or something? Well, we don't gamble so that's not happening... I think that would push my luck. I'll stick with feeling great and having a kid who proves me wrong the second I open my big mouth type on my keyboard about him.

Anywho, I was feeling so peachy I spent the afternoons this week swimming at a friends pool with H, shopping, working on blog business partnerships (check out these tips!) and doing things normal people who feel good do! But I ignored actually writing posts for my blog. And ignored my editorial calendar. This gem of a post wasn't planned. Not like you could tell, right?

Going rogue!

Perhaps your face as you read this unplanned post?

I'm still linking up with Amanda, Karli, Friday 5 and H54F - hopefully they don't kick me out of the cool girls club for not posting my Friday Favorites or listing things out by number. If I did, it would look like this: Numbers 1-5: FINALLY FEELING NON-FIRST TRIMESTER PREGNANT. Booyah! All the favorites. All the likes.

Have a splendid weekend! (Can we bring the word splendid back? What a great word.)

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

What Summer Pregnancy Is REALLY Like

Earlier this week, I wasn't really feeling like going to my standard barre or yoga class. So I pulled up the weather app on my phone to see if it was already too hot to head to White Rock Lake for a good walk. Is it just me, or does anyone else really benefit mentally from a good walk outside when they're in a rut/unmotivated?!

Anyway, I pull up the app. And I see THIS atrocity:

 Hey summer pregnancy, heyyyyyyyy!

Triple digits. As far as the eye can see. Or, as far as the app goes out, which is ten days. Ahhhh, true Texas summer has arrived! And y'all. It's making me a bad, insane, nasty pregnant woman.

Last week, when it was still *just* the high 90's, I pitched my phone clear across the parking lot in a pregnant rage. It may or may not be why I upgraded to the 6 plus recently (and can now pick up ghosts!) I don't even remember what set me off, but Henry found it super funny. That's an expensive way to get your toddler to laugh.

This heat is making me pukey too. I've battled a rough first trimester that has carried well into the second, and I think I have the heat to blame. After getting H in his seat and getting all necessary items loaded (purse, groceries, diaper bag, laundry detergent, etc) in a 120 degree parking lot, I have to sit for a few minutes with the AC fully blasting, all the vents on me. You know who doesn't like to sit stagnantly in a running car? Henry. It's a treat feeling like I'm going to faint/puke and having a screamer in the backseat. A realllllllllllll treat.

It's making me feisty! I'm feisty to begin with, but this is next-level y'all. Outside of my phone learning to fly, you should see how aggressively I pass idiots who refuse to drive the speed limit. They recently raised it again in inner-city Dallas, and I think most people missed the memo. And all the signs on the road every 500 feet. They're clearly missing those, too. In case you're a Dallasite, speed limit is 70, mmmmk? If there's no traffic and you're going 55 for NO reason, I will aggressively pass you. Or ride your a$$. Probably both. I just consider it a win that I'm not intentionally rear-ending you on principle alone, honestly. I think I've turned into a Dallas-driver...

It's making me make bad choices! Last weekend I went to do our grocery shopping, sans-Henry, pulled into the parking lot and promptly lost breakfast (sorry to the Lexus SUV next to me. Hope you got the spatter washed off before the heat baked it on something good!) Then I proceeded to buy chocolate milk, kettle chips, blueberry muffins, and white-flour tortillas. This is NOT how I eat! This is not how anyone should eat! This is absolutely not how any pregnant woman should eat! But the heat, baby and sickness made me go on a refined carb and high-fat-food binge. Now all I want to do is lay on the couch and eat all of it, all the time.

This is my first summer pregnancy. I learned I was pregnant with H in October and I evicted him mid-May, before it got really hot outside. I'm new to this whole "super hot and pregnant" deal. But I can tell you with absolute certainty, this is the LAST summer pregnancy I ever plan. This crap is for the birds. See what summer pregnancies do?! ALL of the heat = ALL of the crazy!

As evidenced by this text convo between hubs and me:

Hubs continues to be a saint. He offers to bring me a healthy smoothie for breakfast; I complain about my poor choices and feeling icky. The new {pathetic} normal.

Y'all, just pray that my sweet husband has continued patience for me! Poor man is living with a knocked up nutjob.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Why the Stars of "The Bachelor(ette)" Rarely Get Married

I remember The Bachelor debuted when I was a junior or a senior in high school (circa 2002) and low and behold! That show is still going strong, even airing multiple seasons in any given year.

I know many of you bloggers and social media mavens are fans. So I tuned in to get the lowdown on this season's Bachelorette. I was able to consume three mayyyyyyybe four minutes of it before I couldn't stand it. The show, the contestants, the Bachelorette and the situation was all making my skin crawl. I wanted to slap these people through the TV!

Image source

Here's the obvious thing about this show: It doesn't mimic reality. You don't get to spend two weeks in Bora Bora with your significant other (or six of your significant others at once). You don't have picnics catered by top chefs with picturesque baskets and blankets and scenery in the background. You don't watch sunsets and stare at each other for hours each day! No; you go to work, you get tired, you deal with your annoying boss, you get stuck in rush hour, maybe you grab takeout at a mediocre restaurant and eat it on the couch with your sweetheart, and then you go to bed and do it all over again. That's reality.

But the dream-world the Bachelor(ette)s and the contestants live in isn't the reason why these people aren't actually getting married.

The real reason these peeps aren't tying the knot is because they simply don't know each other. Allow me to illustrate:

The few minutes I watched last week involved the brunette Bachelorette having the World's Dumbest Conversation with a blond man. He was FAR less attractive than she was. She either didn't look into him or was uncomfortable on camera. I'm going with just not that into him because he was pretty ugly, to be honest. Anyway, do you know what they wasted their time talking about? ALL of their time? The feelings they were developing for each other. Then she moved on to the next dude (who looked just like a weasel - seriously, she got the bottom of the barrel, B-squad dudes in the looks department) and had THE SAME CONVERSATION with him.

The Bachelorette's B-squad dudes to choose from. Image source.

Here's the deal: If you spend your measly six weeks together talking nonstop about your feelings, just when are these "feelings" supposed to develop? When hubs and I were dating, we talked about careers, dogs, friends, siblings, coworkers, projects we were working on, hobbies, food and dare I go out on a limb and actually say it - we had sex. If your moral compass tells you to be a virgin until you get married, God bless and good luck to you. But a strong sexual relationship is absolutely key to a successful marriage because guess what? That's the ONLY person you're going to be sleeping with, so if they're a dud, your marriage is too. How can you tell if they're a dud? Simple: You sleep with them.

These contestants and Bachelor(ette)s ONLY talk about their feelings. It's feelings and more feeling and even more pseudo-feelings! Like, you've known the woman for all of about five minutes, you really think she could be "the one"? C'mon bro. What you really mean to say is that you find her attractive and you want to take her on a date. That's it. That's all that's "feel-able" after five minutes, sorry.

This season's Bachelorette. Image source.

If they do happen to spend the night together, they get ripped to shreds on social media for doing what tons of American's do every day and night, and what every species on the face of the planet does. You know, that scary S word: Sex. Actually, just the women get criticized harshly because America is still so sexist it's MIND BOGGLING. Guys get high-fives; women get called names. It's completely atrocious.

When you have zero interesting conversations, and can't find common interests, and worst of all, can't sleep with the person without public scrutiny, you're damn right they're not getting married. Would you marry a stranger? Me either. So can we stop having these stupid, fake proposals at the end of every season? Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks.

Monday, July 13, 2015

4th Month Bumpdate

I know some bloggers chronicle every week of their adorable baby bump... But let's get serious, this is my second baby, and second babies always get the shorter end of the stick.

I thought I'd limit my bumpdates to once a month, so those who are interested can read the thrilling tidbits of my baby growin' and those who aren't can simply skip one post a month. I'll make them interesting though, promise!

Without further delay, here's an update on the bump in my 4th month:

Last iPhone 5 pic of mediocre quality! Y'all, the 6plus is ON POINT

Mood: Good, I think? We should ask hubs, he'd know better than me! I do get irritated easily, but I am well into my 4th month and it's hotter than a 'mug out there. You'd be irritated too if it was 108 every time you stepped outside and you had stupid full-panel maternity shorts on. For those who don't know, full panel means that they take the waist band out of your pants/shorts and replace it with nylon stretchy fabric that goes up to your boobs. It's both hot and itchy. I'm getting irritated just writing about it.

Craving: Veggies! Which actually isn't anything out of the normal, so I guess it's not a craving? I'm trying to keep the consumption in check this time around (which ALL second time moms say!) because I know just how effing hard it is to lose baby weight. Screw you ice cream, I'mma stick with my all fruit popsicle so I can save myself two extra miles of running after this baby gets here.

Missing: Wine and not being winded after a flight of stairs. But seriously, I'm missing things far less than I did when I was pregnant with Henry, and it's making this pregnancy much more enjoyable!

Movement: I've been feeling quickening/flutters since 14 weeks. Not surprised I was that early with my second since I felt them at 16 weeks with H. I've read that if you're slender, you tend to feel the baby much sooner. So, there ya go. Science explains everything!

Weight gain: 2 pounds! Not bad for a second baby and almost being done with my 4th month. I'm below the normal range, but I was with Henry too, and I caught up him by the sixth month or so. I'm sure this baby will follow suit.

Gender: We find out the first week in August! Hubs thinks it's a girl for sure. I've done many of the old wives tales, and three point to boy while five suggest girl... We shall see! People think I'm nuts for wanting to know the gender of my second. Um, hello?! If it's a boy, I literally need NOTHING. If it's a lady baby, I need to get provisions! Except a car seat. Lady baby will roll in a bright blue one. Why would I drop $200 just to get a pink one? No. Dumb. Blue it is.

Maternity clothes: I already covered this a bit in the mood section, so you clearly know that I'm in them AND my sentiments about them. I've actually been in maternity pants/shorts since I was about 12 weeks. While my regular clothes still fit, they had to ride lower around the baby bump massive gas bubble I was sporting, and it dug into my c section scar. No bueno. So I busted out my maternity clothes super early for comfort's sake.

The photo quality of the iPhone 6plus is so fantastic, it even picked up a ghost photobomb!

Excited for: Finding out the gender! I have nursery plans I need to get going on! I know all my other Type A Planners feel me on this.

I will be doing a cute gender announcement to share the news! Pinteresting ideas now :)

Side note: Am I the only one who thinks gender reveal parties are super weird? Like, a clever image on social media is totally fun and appropriate. A full-out party with all your friends who come JUST for that occasion...? Seriously? And everyone is supposed to act "surprised" by the result? Newsflash... "I can't believe it's a girl!!" really means "Your odds of that embryo developing a vagina were 50% so... Yup. I can believe it." Also, do people have to bring gifts to these things? You mean to tell me I'm supposed to gift you at your gender reveal party AND your shower AND bring you a casserole after the baby comes? Sweet Jesus. EXCESSIVE. Am I alone here on preggo-snark island or are my feelings legit?

Friday, July 10, 2015

5 On Friday Throwback Style

Remember when I used to highlight the top 5 moments of my week on H54F (high five for Friday) posts? I haven't done that in a long time. I thought I'd bring it back this week, and focus on some of the awesome things that have been happening.

1) I finally decided on a wand from this major life decision, and picked up this lil' beaut. I liked how it had two barrel sizes and at $50, didn't break the bank. Clearly I haven't used it yet, but am excited to play around with it this weekend!

New toys to play with!

2) I heard the galloping horses sound of baby 2's heartbeat on the Doppler at my OB appt this week! My OB found that badboy the second she laid the Doppler on my belly. My due date got moved up, too, which is basically like scoring a free week of pregnancy. And that, my friends, I will gladly accept at anytime.

3) I found a sippy cup Henry will drink out of! This seems trivial for a "best of the week" moment, but y'all don't know how hard I've tried to get this kid to take anything but a bottle! I even tried to take the bottle away entirely, forcing him to drink out of a sippy but the kid is so determined he just dehydrated himself. Or, errrr, I dehydrated him. Oops. Anyway, a sippy has been found and we're working on real cups too. Whoohoo! My fellow mamas get me here, right?

H lays in my lap while I blog in the mornings and obvi enjoys blog reading too!

4) My in-laws are here for the weekend! Hubs keeps planning all these noon-time-outdoor activities, but it's supposed to be well over 100 and they're from North Dakota... So, that won't go over well. Heck, it won't go over well with me and I love high heat. Don't worry, I have backup plans that include AC.

5) Otis Beaufort and Baxter the Beezer were super excited to get their July treats from! I turn my pregnant nose up at most dog treats due to the horrific smell, but these Sojos biscuits smell like apple-cinnamon and the boys went WILD for them. Woof woof have a great weekend!

Linking up with Amanda, Karli, Friday 5 and H54F!

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

The Benefits of Breakfast

Remember in grade school where we were taught, "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!" and all about the food pyramid?

It turns out the food pyramid was as terrible a FAIL. It taught us the "benefits" of a low-fat, mostly grain diet. It was after several years of this crappy campaign that obesity rates skyrocked. "Eat mostly carbs covered in light or nonfat dairy!" they said. Yeah... How'd that work out for America, FDA???

What they DID get right was the importance of breakfast. By my own admission, when I'm not growing a human/pregnant, my breakfast consists of a cup of coffee. If I have a cup or two of coffee, I can run off that steam for hours! Sometimes even until 3 or 4pm, when I wonder why I'm feeling dizzy. "Oh yeah! I haven't eaten today! I should fix that." I say to myself.

Sprouted-grain breakfast wrap with eggs, cheese, avocado and veggie sausage

The problem is, my metabolism is already in "starvation" mode. So when I finally do consume a meal, my body is saying to itself, "Process this slowly! It might be the only thing we get for awhile." Even if I get around to eating lunch at noon, that's a full 17 hours since my last meal, assuming I had dinner around 7pm the previous night.

Seventeen hours! That's all it takes for your body's metabolism to dip back down into the low-burning zone. It's anticipating not having food for a long time and it wants to conserve energy (aka the calories you've already consumed) so that it lasts for as long as possible. Bottom line: you burn the calories you consume too slowly, leading to weight gain.

Now, pregnant Paige wakes up hungry. Ten hours of not eating anything when you're building another human is a long time. I eat within an hour or so of waking up. I feed my toddler first, because that boy wakes up HANGRY, and I may or may not steal some of whatever I'm feeding him. Then I finally get to tend to my own needs. The above pic is actually the breakfast I made myself the morning my water broke with Henry! It was a good thing I went all-out, because I wasn't allowed to eat again until dinner the next day.

With breakfast, my calorie burn stays high all day! I never feel sluggish. I never start to see stars when I stand up quickly. I'm also never letting myself get "starving" or super hungry. It's a much more balanced approach to consuming energy so that - low and behold! - I have energy to last all day.

Consuming breakfast jump starts your metabolism. It wakes it up from the sleep state your body has been in overnight and gets you moving. It sets the stage for the rest of the day. Not just for your energy level, but how many calories you'll actually burn. When you keep your metabolism fed with small portions of healthy food (not refined carbs covered in I Can't Believe It's Not Butter or "light" cream cheese!!), it stays revved up all day long. That means you can eat more without gaining weight, since your calorie burn level is staying high all day long.

And who doesn't want that?! Go eat yourself some breakfast.

Monday, July 6, 2015

Holiday Weekend Celebrations

The 4th of July is one of my favorite holidays! The weather is warm, it's laid back, there's grilling (not to be confused with BBQing, unless you're smoking meat for hours upon hours), beverages, and best of all: Fireworks!

Happy 4th of July from Lil' H, hubs, babybump and me!

So of course this year I find myself pregnant (there goes the bevvies!) and a 13 month old toddler (there goes the fireworks!) Whoomp.

Regardless, this year was still fun! We headed out for the Lakewood parade, meeting up with some friends who have a daughter about Henry's age. We parked close to a mile away from where we met up with them, because the road closed for the parade and I snagged the last parking spot in sight, fearing I wouldn't find another one. Note to future self: take a different route next year and park closer! Good thing we had a stroller and didn't have to lug a nearly 30 pound one year old.

Henry, mama and babybumpie still walking

The parade was a cute little community parade, with decorated convertibles, firetrucks and cheerleaders. Henry was in AWE of the firetrucks!


H dropped his water bottle for a few minutes in the nearly 100 degree heat to wave a flag. So patriotic, that boy.

We headed home for lunch and nap time. After refreshing, we headed out for the next agenda item: a pool party! Which was the perfect activity, because it was well over 100 degrees in the afternoon, and hubs has never seen what a fish Henry is in the water.


Of course I didn't get a single pic because phone + pool + lots of kiddies = DISASTER. But daddy swam with Lil' H and put my preggo legs in and chatted with friends. Everyone asked us what swimming school we had Henry at because he already kicks and blows bubbles in the water...

"Ummm, none!" I replied. "I'm a bad mom and haven't signed him up for any lessons. Lukewarm water with tons of baby pee in it totally grosses me out. Also, why do people pay hundreds of dollars for swim lessons with kids so young?! Like, seriously - what's the point?" It was an Odd Mom Out moment for me. Until all the other moms agreed that it's a complete waste of money for young babies to have lessons and they wished they hadn't dropped all that cash on nothing.

I thank my lucky Star Spangled Banner that I don't roll with the obnoxious Dallas Elite snob-mob-moms, and have legit mom-friends who don't pass judgement and tell it like it is! We also decided to get Henry enrolled in a swim class this fall with daddy. This kid is a natural, I'm telling you! Next Michael Phelps for sure. Hopefully, minus the drugs.

Anyway, the rest of the night was uneventful, spent watching a movie on the couch while we heard the faint booms of the fireworks I was missing in the distance. It just isn't worth it to disrupt bedtime and risk scared screams so I can watch some colors explode in the sky. But in a few years... Game on.

Sunday was relaxing, spent planning a few upcoming trips (YAY), going to yoga and grilling out. I'm not big on meat in general, and we all know this baby has done a number on my tummy. We were at Whole Foods getting grilling supplies and hubs points out some fresh fish. I crinkled my nose and asked for filet. You'd have thought I told this man Santa Claus was real! He danced a jig all the way to the meat counter.

And that concluded our exciting holiday weekend. How did you celebrate Independence Day?

Friday, July 3, 2015

Happy 4th of July!

I hope everyone is busy enjoying their day off and has awesome plans to celebrate the 4th tomorrow!

We wont be making it out to any firework shows since Lil' H is a party pooper and passes out at 7pm. But we do have a fun parade to go to and a daytime (i.e. kid friendly) party to go to!

Dallas doesn't allow fireworks within the city limits (Laaaaaaamesauce... Actually, no. I'm mistaken. Awesomesauce. My kid will sleep soundly!) so if you're able to do the late night official firework show, enjoy the view for me!

Happy Birthday, 'Murica!

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Wednesday Confessional #2

I'm all over the place this week, and have about 20 more minutes of Henry's nap time to crank out a post I *thought* I had already written and scheduled... Sike! It's not in the que. It's still in my noggin.

I'm changing posting plans in light of my blog negligence. Here are some of my deepest confessions, round two, for you:

I CONFESS that I'm stuffing my face with tortilla chips dipped in ranch right now. There's grease on my keyboard to show for it. So that pregnancy diet is working well for me.


I CONFESS that I'm really missing partaking in one of summer's finest glory's: Getting drunk and singing/dancing to country songs. It can be old school country like Johny Cash or it can be BroCountry like Jason Aldean; I don't discriminate. There really isn't anything that's more fun than hot weather, cold beer and loud country jams. Oh, you do this too? We're probably secret BFFs. Oh, you turn your nose up at country music? You've probably never been a six pack in when THIS SONG comes on. You should get over yourself and try it.

Seriously, this is one of the best things of summer. I know I'm in my 30's and a mother; long hair don't care.

She's right about this...

I CONFESS that I've entered my second trimester! And this baby has decided to make me sicker than ever. All I've been able to keep down (those tortilla chips and ranch are purely speculative) are vegetarian chicken patties. I know. Trust me, I'm not functioning under some bull$h!t food marketing strategy that they're "healthier." They're just as processed as the real chicken ones! But at least I won't find disgusting gristle or other weird chicken parts in there. And if I keep talking about that, these chips really will make a quick exit...

Chicken gristle FTB (for the barf)

Finally, I CONFESS to the people on Facebook saying, "Christmas is only six months away!" and to the one pinner I follow on Pinterest who keeps pinning Halloween stuff: slow your roll! It's the first of July friends. That $h!t is a long ways off. Be present and enjoy your summer! #namaste Except for me, I get a pass. Because I'm pregnant, sicker than a dog and sober as a clam, I'm going to be wishing away this summer and welcoming the holidays just as fast as they want to get here.

C'mon Christmas, c'mon Christmas, C'MON!

If you enjoyed this post and want s'more, check out my first Wednesday Confessional post here!