An Uncomplicated Life Blog: Dear Fellow Boymom, Yes, I Judged You

Thursday, December 7, 2017

Dear Fellow Boymom, Yes, I Judged You

Thoughts on a baseball team's "night out" at a restaurant in East Dallas

It was a random Wednesday night when I looked at my husband and said, "You know what? I could really go for a burger!" There's a great greasy spoon type place really close to us, and even more conveniently it's super kid friendly. They have a massive, all enclosed patio that has a kids play area to boot. It was still warm enough to sit on the patio, even though it was a late November evening (thanks for the great weather, Texas) so we packed up the kids and headed over. You know, at the late night dining hour of 5pm.

Because, that's what happens when you have kids. You eat well before dark. Le sigh.

We weren't the only parents with this idea, as it would turn out. When we arrived, there were two families with a combined total of six kids. They pulled a bunch of tables together, and told us that their baseball team was all coming for their end of the year party. "Doesn't bother us!" we said. "We've got two boys too."

The two sets of parents proceeded to go inside to order (even though there are servers on the patio). They left their kids outside to play. These kids - 5 boys around 5-7 and one girl who looked to be 2 or 3 years old - began to get WILD. Running on tops of tables wild. Climbing the fence that enclosed the patio and jumping off it wild. Taking condiments and dumping them on the ground wild. My jaw dropped and I looked for the parents, but they were busy talking at the bar inside the restaurant. Their kids got so wild, my kids were too scared to play in the play area, and sat at the table with me.

Soon, other families showed up, all with similar aged kids. And things took a turn for the worse.

All the parents were at the large table the initial family had created, and groups of boys sat at various tables around the patio. All of the dads sat on one end of the table, and the moms sat together at the other. The dads cut up burgers and hot dogs for their boys, deposited the cut up food in front of their son, and checked the hell out, as if that was their sole duty of the evening. The moms chatted and drank wine and occasionally yelled at a kid, or told him to calm down.

Meanwhile, the boys... Were completely out of control. The group of seven year olds closest to us decided to start a food fight. A FOOD FIGHT. In a restaurant. I gave the instigator of said food fight a death stare (and if you've seen Otto on Instagram, you know death stares run hard in this family). Then I stared down the adult table, trying to catch someone's eye. A mom looked at me, I motioned over to the food fight table, and she promptly looked away.

Otto death stares so hard. He got it from his mama.

Look, I get being a boy mom is exhausting. They have so much energy, they never sit down. You're constantly playing referee and trying to keep them from doing stunts that would result in their death. But fellow boymoms at that restaurant that night in late November, I judged you. Hard. Just because you're eating outside doesn't mean your kids can have a food fight. Just because you're friends with the other parents on the baseball team doesn't mean you can walk away and spend time at the bar, leaving all the kids unattended. It doesn't mean you can sit with all the adults, and think that someone else will correct your child, or that since there's so many of them and it's an end of the year party, it's ok "just this once" for bad behavior.

I don't care what you do in your own home or how you parent. But when you're in public, at a restaurant with other people eating in it too, you need to step it up girlfriend. Nobody should be jumping off of high fences. Nobody should be playing with condiments like it's a water gun. And a food fight? Are you kidding me?!

Dear fellow boymom, yes I judged you. I was horrified at your kids' behavior and your lack of intervention. My kids don't act like that on their WORST days. That's not to say that they're better kids than yours or I'm a better mom. It's to say when things start to get crazy, no matter how tired I am or how crappy the situation is, I correct that kind of behavior. And if it doesn't get corrected, we leave.

As I was signing the check, preparing to leave, I said to the server, "I hope they leave you an amazing tip!" She looked at me like she wanted to pull her hair out and replied, "No matter what they tip, the lack of tips from the other tables for these wild animals won't make up for it."


  1. That is absolutely ridiculous and I would have not only judged, I probably would have complained to the management. I'm sure THEY didn't want to have to clean up that mess either, and NOR SHOULD THEY HAVE TO. That is such a sign of disrespect. And leaving those kids unattended? What if someone walked up and grabbed one of the kids? I just can't.

  2. God. People in general just don't seem to know how to act. I will never understand that - EVER.

  3. I really don’t understand parents sometimes. How can you ever think that’s good behavior?!
    I think sometimes people feel entitled, and if they’re at a restaurant and are paying it doesn’t matter how their kids act. So disrespectful.

  4. Wow, that is crazy. I would have been horrified. I don't understand how some parents just don't care how their kids behave in public. I sometimes feel like I'll be too strict when I have kids, but that's just unacceptable behavior, no matter how you look at it! I'm totally over here judging with you! xx

  5. UGH that's so annoying! I'm annoyed for you and for the servers and restaurant owners! Can you imagine the mess they had to clean up?! That's ridiculous!

  6. No lie, I would have been judging in that situation too. Sometimes it's really tough to with hold judgement entirely!

  7. That is absolutely egregious behavior. I would have judged them hard too! I get it, we are all tired and you want to talk to your friends. But it doesn’t mean you can check the hell out!

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