An Uncomplicated Life Blog: What I Want to Tell My Mother

Monday, April 13, 2015

What I Want to Tell My Mother

I was 21 years old. A new college grad and just wrapping up my first week in my "big girl" job in corporate America.. My then-boyfriend was running some errands, but I was too tired to go into the store. While sitting in the car, my mother called me.

"Hey baby, how was your first week?!" She asked.

"Mom. I am so tired. I have so much housework to do. Piles of laundry. We have no groceries. And all I want to do is sleep! I don't know HOW in the heck you did this all, plus two more jobs, as a single mom. I can't handle one job and no kids!"

My mama and me, Mother's Day 2005.

Completing my first week of 7:30am-4:30pm M-F work was the beginning of a new level of understanding and appreciation for my mom. In my teen years, I "knew everything" and thought my mom was "sooooo lame." Much like every teenage girl in America.

I pulled out of that funk in my second year of college. I realized, hey! I don't know anything, especially about life. My mom and I started to hang out and became friends. I appreciated her advice and enjoyed our conversations. And after that first week of work, I began to realize just how much *work* it getting everything done is.

Fast forward nine years. When my water broke at 36 weeks, my mom was the first person I called (sorry hubs, you were third, after my OB). My mom got on the first flight she could from Georgia to Dallas. She stayed with us for six weeks to help us out as we adjusted to our new life. Talk about a woman who isn't scared of some work, huh? In that time, we had some great conversations (and wine! Oh, I could have wine again. The joy.)

"So mom... I think I understand something now. You had no idea what you were doing with us, just like I have no idea what I'm doing with Henry. You just made stuff up as you went, didn't you?" I asked.

"Yup. Use some common sense and try things until you find something that works." She replied.

"How come it always seemed, and still seems, like you have all the answers?!" I asked.

"Oh honey, I don't know. Just speak with authority and like you mean it, and people will listen to you and respect you. Admit when you're wrong and try again. There aren't mistakes in life, just opportunities to learn." She said wisely.

"Hmmmm..." I nodded my head in agreement as I poured us more wine.

So mama, I now know how hard you worked. How tired you were. How you didn't have all the answers, but you gave it a damn good try. That you didn't always get it right, but you recognized it and tried again. You raised us to be curious and responsible.

Parenting and motherhood is all about work. It's also guesswork. And I hope my guesswork of parenting is half as good as yours is.


  1. This is seriously the sweetest. Moms are the best and yours sounds like a lady I'd love to meet! :)

  2. Your mom and my mom must have gone to the same "mom school"

    Cheers to having awesome Mamas!

  3. So sweet! Your mom sounds like such a great lady. I don't even have kids but adulthood in general has taught me that my parents really did NOT know what they were doing and just made it up along the we all do. They did pretty well for not being given a handbook on how to parent and adult and do life, so I hope I can do a decent job too.

  4. You are so sweet! It sounds like your mama is one hell of a woman. It's wonderful that she will get to read this and know exactly how you feel... =)

  5. so cute and I think we can all relate to being teenage girls and thinking Mom was lame. So glad I grew out of that phase and realized how amazing she is

  6. This is so sweet! It's funny how we start to learn that our moms aren't total idiots as we get older. My mom and I aren't super close, but closer than we used to be. Your mom sounds like an awesome, hard working lady!

  7. you made me cry. gosh darn it.
    my mummy was a single mother as well and i remember saying the exact same thing after the first week of my first 9-5 job that i was so unbelievably tired, except i was a brat and instead of being like damn mum you're awesome, i was like you don't understand, you've never been this tired!! now i know i was an idiot, haha. mums / moms are the best. i wish my mum could come for 6 weeks when i have my first kid.. i dont want my MIL lol

    1. I just LOLed at this and then got horrified at the possibility of having 6 weeks with my MIL when a first child comes. omg.

  8. sniff...
    Love, Mom

  9. Tearing up at my desk! My mom and I had a similar conversation except her's was giving me a pep talk - "Look I had no idea what the heck I was doing and I never felt ready for anything in parenthood or marriage but I knew as long as it seemed like I knew what I was doing then everyone would think I did. And it worked."

    GYAH moms are the best