An Uncomplicated Life Blog: Why the Stars of "The Bachelor(ette)" Rarely Get Married

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Why the Stars of "The Bachelor(ette)" Rarely Get Married

I remember The Bachelor debuted when I was a junior or a senior in high school (circa 2002) and low and behold! That show is still going strong, even airing multiple seasons in any given year.

I know many of you bloggers and social media mavens are fans. So I tuned in to get the lowdown on this season's Bachelorette. I was able to consume three mayyyyyyybe four minutes of it before I couldn't stand it. The show, the contestants, the Bachelorette and the situation was all making my skin crawl. I wanted to slap these people through the TV!

Image source

Here's the obvious thing about this show: It doesn't mimic reality. You don't get to spend two weeks in Bora Bora with your significant other (or six of your significant others at once). You don't have picnics catered by top chefs with picturesque baskets and blankets and scenery in the background. You don't watch sunsets and stare at each other for hours each day! No; you go to work, you get tired, you deal with your annoying boss, you get stuck in rush hour, maybe you grab takeout at a mediocre restaurant and eat it on the couch with your sweetheart, and then you go to bed and do it all over again. That's reality.

But the dream-world the Bachelor(ette)s and the contestants live in isn't the reason why these people aren't actually getting married.

The real reason these peeps aren't tying the knot is because they simply don't know each other. Allow me to illustrate:

The few minutes I watched last week involved the brunette Bachelorette having the World's Dumbest Conversation with a blond man. He was FAR less attractive than she was. She either didn't look into him or was uncomfortable on camera. I'm going with just not that into him because he was pretty ugly, to be honest. Anyway, do you know what they wasted their time talking about? ALL of their time? The feelings they were developing for each other. Then she moved on to the next dude (who looked just like a weasel - seriously, she got the bottom of the barrel, B-squad dudes in the looks department) and had THE SAME CONVERSATION with him.

The Bachelorette's B-squad dudes to choose from. Image source.

Here's the deal: If you spend your measly six weeks together talking nonstop about your feelings, just when are these "feelings" supposed to develop? When hubs and I were dating, we talked about careers, dogs, friends, siblings, coworkers, projects we were working on, hobbies, food and dare I go out on a limb and actually say it - we had sex. If your moral compass tells you to be a virgin until you get married, God bless and good luck to you. But a strong sexual relationship is absolutely key to a successful marriage because guess what? That's the ONLY person you're going to be sleeping with, so if they're a dud, your marriage is too. How can you tell if they're a dud? Simple: You sleep with them.

These contestants and Bachelor(ette)s ONLY talk about their feelings. It's feelings and more feeling and even more pseudo-feelings! Like, you've known the woman for all of about five minutes, you really think she could be "the one"? C'mon bro. What you really mean to say is that you find her attractive and you want to take her on a date. That's it. That's all that's "feel-able" after five minutes, sorry.

This season's Bachelorette. Image source.

If they do happen to spend the night together, they get ripped to shreds on social media for doing what tons of American's do every day and night, and what every species on the face of the planet does. You know, that scary S word: Sex. Actually, just the women get criticized harshly because America is still so sexist it's MIND BOGGLING. Guys get high-fives; women get called names. It's completely atrocious.

When you have zero interesting conversations, and can't find common interests, and worst of all, can't sleep with the person without public scrutiny, you're damn right they're not getting married. Would you marry a stranger? Me either. So can we stop having these stupid, fake proposals at the end of every season? Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks.


  1. I agree with this, but I also think that most of these relationships don't last because how can you tell who is going to make you happy when you are getting your needs met by multiple people at once? It's like when people cheat--they think things are wonderful with the person they're cheating with, because some needs are getting met by one person, while also being met by someone else. It's not one, full, healthy relationship.

  2. Ha so true! I caught a couple seasons in the early days, when I was younger and didn't know enough about relationships to get how truly unrealistic the situations in the show are. Every now and then I'll catch a minute or two and I can't believe people are still falling for that crap. I have my own reality TV guilty pleasures so I can't judge, but the whole premise just seems beyond silly at this point.

  3. I totally agree with this! I have always had a hard time watching this show because the concept of it is just not realistic! I like how you pointed out that real relationships are about living life together. It's not just "feelings," it's going through things together, making decisions, working together, learning about each other's likes/dislikes/etc. For me, my relationship grew and developed most when we went through real life together seeing each other in everyday situations as well as good times and bad times.

  4. I have been watching this show for a long time, I know its not real but there is always that small part of me that hopes they will last, its like a train wreck you cannot look away from. BUT this season I stopped watching. This season is so fake I just can't even....ugh is all I have to say. I think this season they have lost me.

  5. This is honestly the first season that I haven't watched - I just feel like it's getting scripted (and you can seriously tell)! She's also terribly boring as are the guys LOL! xo, Biana -BlovedBoston

  6. Oh man. AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!

    I just "can't even" with those shows. I cannot make myself watch them. It's absolutely ridiculous. You're right. They don't know each other and they they spend all their time talking about their feelings, which they clearly can't have because they don't know each other. What they may have is a crush. And attraction and a desire to know the person... but they don't know them, so feelings don't apply. Oof.

  7. I can watch bad reality tv......aka Party Down South. However, I am like you. I can't even stand more than 5 mins. I just hate the whole concept behind these series. It is promoting the right for one person to date multiple people at once and play with their heart and emotion. It's not right. It's not right in real life and it's certainly not okay to sleep with one person one night and then confess your love to another person the next day. It is the worst!!!!!

  8. I am guilty of being a lover of The Bachelorette. However, some of what happens on the show is way too scripted. I completely understand your points on why they don't get married. I think that now, the show has turned into something for entertainment rather than actually finding love

  9. Amen to this! While I always hope they will work out, I rarely think they will!

  10. this is hilarious. i have never watched an episode (or even like 5 minutes) and now i'm extra glad lol. there's only so much feelings talk i can take in real life, i don't want to watch it!

  11. Oh woman YES YES YES! It's gotten worse over the seasons, to be honest. I've only watched since Ben's season (2012, I think?) and at least then we got to know the people a little (which made us believe the contestants got to know each other some, too). Now I can't stand to watch. No thank you.

  12. This is the worst season Ive ever seen (and I only started watching maybe 3-4 years ago). I really REALLY wanted to like this one since She's a Vancouverite - but nope, this season is way too highschool for me. Thank goodness for Suits to remind me why I watch tv.

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